Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
