I'm going to jail i love you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
