just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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