You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
