don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize