**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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