bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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