never play flip cup with pint glasses
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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