i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
