Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize