I wish life had little blips of pornography
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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