is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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