i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
