A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
