Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
