I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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