all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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