Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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