Yo dont text me then not text me
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
