I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
