Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
