He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
is that a dick in a sweater?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
