Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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