But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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