I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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