Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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