well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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