the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
