so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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