Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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