And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
