Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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