those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
