Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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