i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
