okay pat passed out under dana's car
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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