Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
