i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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