The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
