looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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