The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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