Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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