If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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