Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This is my gift to your gina
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
