I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize