i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
