just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's rum buckets o'clock
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
