I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
