He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
