Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
