shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
