I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
