We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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