OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
