The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
