do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
