So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
