Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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