we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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