i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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