we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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