whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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