Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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