Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
