"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize