This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
