1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
