I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
