There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
