I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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