Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
