Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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