Having a random hookup so left but love u
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
