Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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