Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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