I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
